


Blast from the Past

by Callian



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, So're the others, Stuff happens, Ventus is looking good for 100000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 01:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18713869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callian/pseuds/Callian
Summary: In which Xehanort is NOT, in fact, the oldest guy in the room and he is only just now realizing it.Spoilers, by the way.





	Blast from the Past

**Author's Note:**

> This probably contradicts some lines said, but I don't care. It's funny, but my soul's dead and I want this stuff out of me already. Sorry about the lack of proofreading.

The wind in the Keyblade Graveyard cut the skin of all who walked it. In the middle of the barren wasteland, two groups marched towards each other, ready for battle. On one side were the Guardians of Light, staunch protectors of the worlds and their inhabitants. On the other were the Seekers of Darkness, extensions of the madman Xehanort seeking to summon forth Kingdom Hearts. The two groups stopped and met each other’s gazes.

“It was here, on this fated plane where the Keyblade War was waged,” Xehanort said, “And it is here that we sha-“

“Hey, Lauriam, is that you!?!” Ventus suddenly piped in. He raised his hand and waved it back-and-forth with a great amount of energy. “How’ve you been lately?”

“Oh, you know,” Marluxia, Lauriam’s Nobody, replied, “Wallowing in emptiness and darkness. Regretting every event in my life that led to this moment. The usual.”

“Oh, man, that sucks,” Ventus said, “So, why’re you hangin’ out with Xehanort’s lackies?”

“Just kinda fell in with them,” was the reply.

“Well, take it from me, you can’t trust him!” Ventus said, “Get out while you still can!”

“I tried that once,” Marluxia replied, “Didn’t work.”

“Darn, sorry to hear that.”

“Wait, you two know each other?” Aqua asked.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, me and Lauriam go waaaaaaaay back,” Ven said, “We met just after the Keyblade War!”

“Keyblade War? Ya mean the one thousands o’ years ago?” Mickey asked.

Ventus nodded. “Yep, me and Lauriam were the Union leaders for the Dandelions.”

Xemnas cocked his head. “What is a… Dandelion?”

              Marluxia replied before Ven could, “We were a group of Keyblade wielders handpicked by Foreteller Ava to flee to another worldline and escape the Keyblade War. Me and Ventus were among the five leaders chosen.”

              “I’m sorry, please explain to me _how you’re still alive, then!”_ Sora yelled, “ _That was years ago!”_

              Ventus shrugged. “I dunno, it’s been a long time. Things got fuzzy after the first couple centuries. You know anything, Lauriam?”

              Maruluxia shook his head. “No, I only remember waking up in an empty flower field,” he said.

              Master Xehanort held out his hands and waved them back and forth. “Wait wait wait wait wait, so you’re _both_ actually from the old Keyblade War?” he asked. They nodded in confirmation.

              “Yeah, we didn’t fight in it, though. We do know what happened, though!” Ventus said.

              “I can confirm that,” Marluxia said.

              Xehanort let out a groan ion frustration. “Are you telling me that I went through all the elaborate scheming to set this up and find out what happens when a Keyblade War goes down when I could have _asked one of you the whole time?”_

              “Yeah, pretty much,” Ventus said.

              “Well, me, Ventus, and Larxene,” Marluxia said, “She wasn’t a Union leader, but she _was_ a Dandelion.”

              “ _What!?!”_ Xehanort screamed.

              Peaking out from behind Marluxia, Larxene waved cheerfully at Xehanort. “Yep, lookin’ good for my age, wouldn’t you say?”

              “So wait, you’re an ancient Keyblade Wielder,” Xehanort said, pointing at Marluxia, “and you’re an ancient Keyblade Wielder, _”_ he pointed at Larxene, “and you, my own damn ex-apprentice, are also an ancient Keyblade Wielder.”

              They nodded their heads in confirmation.

              Xehanort threw his hands up into the air and growled. “Okay, is anybody _else_ secretly an ancient Keyblade Wielder from the past!?!”

              For a moment, everything was silent as the combatants looked among each other to see if anyone answered. But then, slowly, ever so slowly, Xigbar raised his hand into the air. Everyone stared, flabbergasted at the confession.

              “I wasn’t gonna mention it, but since everyone else was, I figured why not? This shindig’s already rolling,” he replied.

              It took a beat, but Xehanort finally replied, “Are you fucking kidding me right now? Ok, so I take it you’re also one of these “Dandelions”, I think they said they were? Okay, fine, _where the hell is you Keyblade and why do you want mine if you already have one?”_

              “Okay, yeah, so funny story about that…” Xigbar said, “See, I’m not actually a Dandelion. I’m actually Foreteller Luxu in disguise and your Keyblade is actually my Keyblade. I’m just loaning it to you.”

              “…Huh?” Xehanort asked.

              “Oh, and I’m also… kinda… 50% of the reason why the first Keyblade War happened at all,” Xigbar said, “But now that we’ve gotten over that, _let’s go get these bastards!_ What? Nothing?”

              Xehanort looked among the crowd, taking in the information he had just learned. With a groan, he threw his Keyblade to the ground and began to storm away. “You know what, fuck this shit. I’m out!”

              “What? No!” Xigbar yelled, running after him, “Old man, get back here! I’ve been waiting fifty millennia for this and I’m not waiting another fifty just to find another crazy, deluded madman who wants to start another Keyblade War! Now get back here, pick up that Keyblade, and start jumpstarting the apocalypse, dammit! Xehanort! XEHANORT!”

              As they left, the remaining fighter stared on.

              “So, what do we do now?” Riku asked.

              “I’m good for some ice cream!” Lea said, walking away. Turning towards both groups he said, “You guys comin’?”

              Everyone shrugged and began to follow Lea, deciding their time would be better spent eating ice cream than trying to kill each other.

_Later that Night_

              There was a flash, and a figure fell from the sky, striking the ground with his dual Keyblades. Pulling them out of the ground, he pointed them in front of him.

              “I’m back,” Roxas said. As the dust cleared, though, he noticed that no one else was there aside from a couple guys he could hear screaming at each other in the background. “Uh, guys? Guys? This is where Evan said the big battle was happening. Did I get the wrong address or something? Hello? Aw, man.”


End file.
